judging the judgmental

let me whine.please.

i have had it today. the last time i posted a blog entry was eons and eons ago, but this little incident today couldn't let my nerves pass a raging fit. thus, i let my fingers be the medium for my outrage.

i have always hated people who indiscriminately lash out unkind words about other people. whenever this happens, especially when the person being severely and unfairly criticized is someone else, i almost always lose my temper and lash back at that person with my own set of invectives, at the same time pointing out how crude his remarks are, befitting him the stature of a mannerless oaf. the fact that this lopsidedly opinionated person may have deserved a beating himself, i still abhor the manner in which i react brashly.

call me mr. righteous if you will, but i have since focused on controlling my anger so that people will be more ready to listen to me when i point out things about them that are just off.

the worst thing that could happen i guess is when i find out how people are judging me wrongly. i would try to rationalize things with them so that they may understand that i am not such and such, and that they are making a terrible mistake about thinking so.

the incident today that i was talking about was with a classmate who asked my opinion on a certain topic. i gave him an opinion as he wanted, but for no apparent reason, our discussion took a turn into becoming an exchange of conflicting ideas which at the moment caught my interest, and so i was so hooked into the verbal bandy. the next thing i knew, it escalated into my trying to defend myself from his accusatory "jokes" (i said "jokes" because he took advantage of ridiculing me in the middle of the discussion and saying he was just joking to cool things off because he said i was so serious and already getting mad, which i wasn't until then). what really pissed me off was that whenever he disagreed with what i am saying, he would get emotionally unstable and try to hide it by passing his behavior onto me by virtue of saying to my face that i am the one reacting unreasonably, and that i shouldn't get mad at him, and that he was afraid i might hit him! of course with the help of the fact that my other classmates heard him, but they didn't have a clue what actually was going on. and of course i wasn't mad at him, and that i wouldn't hit him. but not until then as i said. after realizing what he was doing.

ok, to give an example of his so called jokes. he would interrupt me with something like,"now you're angry at me."(when i wasn't) "when you're with other people, do you make them smile?" (what the hell is his point!?) "when you're with other people, do they enjoy your company or do they slump with seriousness as you do?" (what does being serious have anything to do with our conversation?" in fact, the topic was very philosophical, and he expects to just laugh about it?

his way of evading the issue was to ridicule me. unfortunately, i fell into it. i got so pissed that i just focused on preventing my fist from slamming his face to the wall, at the same time trying to be nice and let his jokes sell.

i know i was a loser in this particular incident. but the bigger loser is that person carrying with him a false sense of life, evading issues by condescension and ridicule towards those whom his opinions are opposed to.

it's nice to be judgmental sometimes.